that's what friends are for?: i don't know what to say...

i have a friend, who will remain nameless, who keeps disappointing me. i consider this friend very close to my <3. but maybe this person doesn't feel that way towards me. maybe that person doesn't feel our friendship as important to them as it is to me. i've gotten dissed not once, not twice, but many times. maybe i'm being stupid for waiting around for this person. that i give this person the benefit of the doubt and suppress my feelings of disappointment. i just think, "i need to be a good friend. i need to be patient."

but i'm getting tired of it now. i'm getting tired of waiting around for this person. maybe i'm trying too hard to be their friend. maybe they don't need my friendship. i'm trying really hard to be nice and cheerful towards this person, but the more i think about it, the more i get mad. i question my friendship with this person now. julie says that i probably shouldn't meet up with this person as much anymore. i think i'll listen to her. do i confront my friend about this? do i tell them how much i think they're disappointing me? do i tell them that i probably won't put that much effort in becoming even better friends with them? it will be hard for me to be cheerful when i see this person down in austin. i hope i can atleast have a smile on my face. hopefully.

this sux.

Squirted 10:45 PM by E-J Yi

t.g.i.f.: i am SOOOOOOOOOOOO glad it's friday. i don't think i could take another day of work!!!

last night's game against seattle was hugely disappointing. we HAVE to win tonight. we should have won last night. we cannot win with finley only scoring 10 points!! omg, he was soooo off last night. definitely in a slump. if it wasn't for "nick @ nite" we probably would have lost more. dang it. so frustrating. atleast we're not like houston who sux. LOL!! haha. jk, i like me some yao ming~!

the other night when we were singing karaoke, i realized how long it had been since i've gone to a nohraebang. my reading was slow. what da heck? young, when you get back, we're going to go. i'm dead serious. i wouldn't mind going in austin, but i'm too embarrassed since i don't sing that well. i'd much rather just sing aloud when i'm surrounded by strangers or better singers. but when i'm at home, i BELT IT out!! :D anyways, we need to get an upgrade on our machine. hopefully, soon!

had dinner with sean last night @ noodles avenue. we didn't enjoy it that much. too salty. i also saw ghc people there including chris. he came up to us and said, "we were just talking about you!" i wonder what. that's why i can't go there. gossip folks. but anyways, me & sean had a fun time just hanging out. during all of our conversations, i always will do the following in some point of the conversation:

*bust out laughing
*shake my head in disgust
*roll my eyes
*moan/groan in frustration
*cover my ears
*bury my hands in my face from embarrassment

and i'm sure i'm not alone. haha. i can't believe how much cpa-wannabes have to study. that's just awful. i realized that i probably could never bring myself to study that much. i'm lazy and unmotivated to study that hard. but that's alright cuz i don't got anything to study for anyway!

think you're smart? figure out this list. i will post up answers next friday.

1) 26 L of the A
2) 7 D of the W
3) 7 W of the W
4) 12 S of the Z
5) 66 B of the B
6) 52 C in a P (WJs)
7) 13 S in the USF
8) 18 H on a G C
9) 39 B of the O T
10) 5 T on a F
11) 90 D in a R A
12) 3 B M (S H T R)
13) 32 is the T in D F at which W F
14) 15 P in a R T
15) 3 W on a T
16) 100 C in a D
17) 11 P in a F (S) T
18) 12 M in a Y
19) 13=UFS
20) 8 T on an O
21) 29 D in F in a L Y
22) 27 B in the N T
23) 365 D in a Y
24) 13 L in a B D
25) 52 W in a Y
26) 9 L of a C
27) 60 M in an H
28) 23 P of C in the H B
29) 64 S on a C B
30) 9 P in S A
31) 6 B to an O in C
32) 1000 Y in a M
33) 15 M on a D M C
34) 8 C's to a L V 8

i've got 25 figured out so far. thanks to steve for providing the brain food. =)

song of the day: kelly clarkson & justin guarini - timeless (from their upcoming movie) (^.^)v

Squirted 12:08 PM by E-J Yi

it's comical, really: don nelson said that in response to pacers' coach isiah thomas asserting that his team's problems with referees have mushroomed since nelson's comments to a national magazine in january. you can read that here. but that pretty much sums up my life right now...

man, i'm tired.

yesterday we had a girls' night out @ our house last night. it was fun even small in number. da mee, da jin, alley, soo jin, julie, and me. we sang karaoke for a couple of hours and then they watched "signs". and then da mee proceeded to talk about the scary scenes from japan's "ring 2". whoa. scary stuff. but i'm not like "i can't sleep! i must sleep with the light on!" but i think the girls were freaked out. anyways, it was good fun. =)

zzzzz...

oh.... dang, my eyes are falling like curtains.

i've been getting really annoyed with work these days. i'm sick of talking to people on the phone. i get really mad when this co-worker dumps all his work on me by saying, "website fun". what da freak??? i guess he thinks it's pretty clever or what not to say that, but when i'm doing his dirty work, it's just as funny as a heart attack. yeah, you's a comedian. and yesterday i got so mad at my family that i looked up jobs. anywhere but dallas. even it was a stupid secretary job. i get so sick of the lack of communication in our family that it makes me want to move away. but the ONLY thing that keeps me here? my Church. of course, my friends would be my next reason, but i have lived away from them for a while, i think i could have handled it for a couple of years. seriously, i was wanting to pull a "dana". (meaning: going to an obscure place like kalamazoo, michigan where she knows nobody.) but i'm like a good dog (no, "b" jokes). i'm loyal to my Church through and through. unless, of course, everybody leaves, then i'll leave, too. haha.

did alot of d/ling at work today: go here to d/l a wealth of kelly clarkson. whoo hoo~! she kinda looks weird in that left pic tho.

if you're bored, this is TOTALLY cool. promise. i think i could answer about 2-3 movies per quiz. the best i did was answer 6. but i forgot which one.

i was in the elevator in the other tower of my company's building and there was an asian guy in there. he got off on the second floor and i got off on the first to go back to my tower. i take the stairs up to my floor and suddenly he appears right in front of me. i quickly tried to get back to my office but then he goes:

him: didn't i just see you in the elevator?
me: (looking down, trying to avoid eye contact) uh, yeah
him: yeah! i thought i remembered seeing you!

by this time, i am uncomfortable b/c of his enthusiasm and walk back to my desk. he follows me.

him: can you tell me where the help desk is?
me: yeah, sure, it's down the hall, to the right.
him: thanks! thanks alot!

i thought that was last of him i was going to see today. i was wrong. dead wrong. five minutes later, he comes back to my desk.

him: so you work here? very interesting!
me: uh, yeah.
him: (squinting to see my name plate on my desk) uh, i see from your last name. very interesting. are you korean?
me: uh, yeah.
him: very interesting. so, so, so how long have you been working here? i've never seen you before.
me: i've been here since september. 6 months.
him: very interesting. i've been here since august. by the way, i'm korean, too. let me write down my name for you.
me: why are you giving me your name? i didn't ask for it. uh, sure.
him: what's your korean name?
me: i don't go by my korean name.
him: very interesting. ok. here's my name. i'm in international marketing.
me: i see.
him: very interesting. ok.
me: WHY DOES HE KEEP SAYING 'VERY INTERESTING'??? AND WHY WON'T HE GO AWAY??? ... (awkward silence)
him: ok, then i'll see you around. maybe sometime we can get together and have lunch or something.
me: ... (but i smiled to be nice.)
him: bye.
me: bye.

you know who he reminds me of, ann? he kinda looks like wei, but an older version. looks probably 30ish. ew. i hope i can avoid him at all costs. even worse about this whole thing? my boss (not THE boss) saw the beginning of our conversation and i'm afraid she's going to say something. ARGH!!

alright. somebody just popped some popcorn. i'm over. i'm through.

gonna go get some dinner with sean today. boy has been studying like a mofo. if he doesn't pass his cpa exam, he said he's going to kick me b/c i joked and said "i hope you don't pass" (b/c he wouldn't stop by my house when he could). nah, he'll pass. he's a study freak. and a momma's boy. but that's another story for another day. lol.

Go, go, go, go
Go, go, go shawty
It's your birthday
We gon' party like it's yo birthday
We gon' sip Bacardi like it's your birthday
And you know we don't give a f---
It's not your birthday! (^.^)v

song of the day: 50-cent - in da club (it's very hypnotic) O_O

Squirted 3:16 PM by E-J Yi

image is nothing?: remember that sprite ad campaign? well, now that i think of it. i think it's false. i think image plays a big part. especially when it comes to finding your s.o. (significant other)...

like for example, i know this girl who is such a nice girl. *alarm bell* to guys that means, "she's ugly". well, to be honest, yeah, she ain't attractive. and it's really, really sad. she wants so desperately to find her s.o., but she hasn't gotten one in many years. MANY years. now i started thinking, what about me? to be honest, i don't consider myself pretty, but not ugly either. i would say average. maybe above average when i'm around certain people. JUST KIDDING. but i, too, am alone. could it be that i'm deceiving myself? maybe guys don't like the way i look. or the way i act. certainly can't change both too much. the only thing i would change about myself is to lose some weight, but other than that, i'm happy the way i am. of course, i'd love to have a BOOMing bod and a gorgeous face, but i think it would be more negative for me than positive. i'm not really sure where i'm going with all this, but it seems like, as it ALWAYS seems like, the weirdest people have s.o.'s and normal girls like me and the above mentioned, don't. do guys ever feel the same way? do they ever think, "man, i'm an alright guy. how come i'm not getting any girls?" or do they think, "am i ugly? i can't be as ugly as so-and-so!" hmmm. i wonder.

i do think the way you carry yourself significantly impacts the way the opposite sex thinks of you. the above girl, not me, does not carry herself in a way i think she should. she's very successful and has a sweet personality, but she slumps her shoulders and walks with her head facing down. do guys notice that or do they think, "oh, she's just shy..." i, for one, try not to do that b/c it makes me look shorter than i already am. =P i think so-called "ugly" girls can look better if they carry themselves in a confident, pleasant manner. i think those charm schools can help with this...

which brings me to my next point: what do guys like? beauty or brains? cuz you know beauty on the outside don't last forever. of course, both would be ideal, but those are rare gems. and what about the type of smarts? book-smart vs. street-smart. i know this other girl who is extremely smart, book-wise. but street-wise? she has no clue. i think guys prefer a girl who is street-smart and has beauty. not all, but atleast generally. if each topic was a circle, i think i'd be a lil bit of everything in a venn diagram. (does that make sense?) i have very lil beauty, a smidge brainy, coulda been bookish, and out of the others, i am somewhat street-smart. now where does that leave me in the whole scheme of things?

i. have. no. freakin'. clue.

i guess alone, right? haha.

anyways, don't ask me where, how, or why i thought of that topic, but i did.

yay, it's almost time to go home! (^.^)v

Squirted 4:52 PM by E-J Yi

disappointments: last night's festivities, or lack thereof, left me feeling a lil b l a h...

was supposed to meet up with sara last night. didn't work out. was supposed to go to dinner with alley & charlie. didn't work out. finally at the last minute, won decides to join me & my sister @ buffalo wild wings to watch the mavs game last night. which brings me to another disappointment...

last night, dirk was all on his own. they probably would have lost by more if it wasn't for dirk. raef & bradley can't get NOTHING done. finley and steve were definitely off last night. i felt like only najera, griffin, and nowitzki were actually playing. but man, i think KG is the MVP. and if he signs with dallas in the off-season? we would DEFINITELY win a championship next year. he's a freak of nature. as skinny as he is, he does everything. defense and offense. o.m.g. he's amazing. szczerbiak is ok, too. he was probably the x-factor last night. that's ok, mavs. we can handle seattle thursday. and edward, this upcoming game is on UPN 21 so it isn't on cable. ok??

then i find out that joseph is blaming my sister for spreading the news of his resignation. she told the children's group that joseph was leaving. and this was the same day that joseph announced that he was leaving. she said it like 30 minutes before. SO FREAKIN' WHAT??? WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO BE ASHAMED OF? YOU'RE LEAVING ANYWAY. GEEZ. GET OVER YOURSELF. dude's gotta get personal with everybody.

no more joseph talk. you know what i hate? people who never think things thoroughly and they only get all emotional that they cannot even listen to what you're saying. it's so frustrating trying to calmly explain something when they're yelling at you like they're burning in a fire. ridiculous. some people need to shut up.

i'm in a bad mood now.

grrrrr.

song of the day (which has nothing to do with the above): 03 bonnie 'n clyde - jay-z feat. beyonce'

Squirted 9:58 AM by E-J Yi

objectively subjective: does that make sense? in light of all the drama that happened this weekend, i don't know if i can be objective without sounding subjective. but i'll try to be as objective as i can...enough with the "jectives"!

friday afternoon, jimmy calls me and drops the bomb on me: joseph is resigning from our Church. and honestly, this is fine by me. i never really thought he matched with our Church and didn't know how long he was going to stay. that fact that he did this the same week that sam leaves? that really pissed me off. we're all a lil vulnerable right now and now we are running around like chickens with our heads chopped off looking for a new english pastor. and even more so, joseph decides that jimmy is a main cause for all this and tries to bring him down. bad choice. cuz joseph ain't got nothin' on jimmy. anyways, that totally consumed my mind for the rest of the day. i got a lil break from that by going to global harvest that night. sara was going to be there so she asked me to come. it was alright, but i don't feel like i want to be part of that Church's drama. our Church has enough of its own. but it was fun watching sara impress us all with her volleyball skillz and cindy with her trash talking.

saturday was spent figuring out what to do with my stupid car and finally getting it fixed somewhat at sam's and me getting a $10 haircut (julie says it looks the same, but i am satisfied that she thinned out my hair). then me & julie spent most of the afternoon watching, "great teacher onizuka". we both fell asleep after watching 3 episodes and later got up to go eat dinner with my dad. we went to sura where we had a pretty good meal. but they did it to us again: we only ordered 1 bulgogi, but they gave us 2. what da heck? that's some messed up stuff. but we were in a good mood anyway, so we just took the rest home. by this time, i was feeling pretty nervous about Sunday's worship service. i didn't know what was going to happen. and what did happen was beyond my wildest imagination...

joseph and jimmy decide to talk before service to clear up some misunderstandings. however, joseph didn't want to accept anything jimmy said nor believes it. then service started with julie leading worship. she did an alright job. much more better than joseph. [atleast she got rhythm.] anyways, right before joseph preaches his sermon, he announces his resignation. that's fine with me. probably a shock to most of the kids, but what got me mad was how he described that there was "hatred" and "anger". hatred? anger? maybe anger on only my account, but nobody else. not even jimmy. and definitely not hatred. do you see where i'm going with this? after joseph preaches one of his better sermons, he decides he wants a time of praying because, "i HATE this kind of worship service. everybody is mad. everybody has hatred." WHAT HATRED IS HE TALKING ABOUT? that's just wrong. i was going to close my eyes after he did, but then i see that he isn't closing his eyes. he's waiting for jimmy to close his first! and here comes his praying. (praying in his book: speak into the mic really loud so that nobody else can pray and we all have to listen to what he says.) he again pulls some crap and says, "this is not sam's ministry, my ministry, or jimmy's ministry." i was mad. i opened my eyes and looked at jimmy. he still has his eyes closed. i look straight at joseph. he's pretending that he has much sorrow and regret that he's leaving. he then says that (not exact words, but very similar) "i only wished that me and jimmy could have worked together, but i see that we cannot. i only hope that me and jimmy can be brothers of Christ." i am furious. why? b/c here, joseph is making it seem like jimmy is the reason for him leaving. i hope the others in the EM group know that jimmy would never be like that. and after service, joseph again gets on jimmy's case and as jimmy walks away, joseph murmurs something that caused jimmy to question, "did you just say _______?" and joseph erupting into a fighting stance. never had we imagined something like this would happen. especially at Church. it's totally disheartening, probably more so for jimmy. jimmy was his strongest supporter. even when we had our doubts about joseph, jimmy kept on supporting him and now he gets treated like this? joseph wasn't fit to be our pastor, more less any Church's pastor. i know he can be a nice person, but he has so much more to learn. so much more to grow to become one. so now we're back at square one, trying to look for another english pastor. please pray for us, guys. thanks.

you never want to see that much drama, controversy in one's life (julie said that yesterday was the most "dramatic day in her life"...haha), not to mention Church. i am telling this b/c i hope that others don't view Church in a negative way even though i probably made it out like that. this is an exceptional case. of course, things will happen here and there, but just remember to trust the ones you've known the longest. they're the ones who look out for the best for you. man, i could go on and on, but it's not time for that yet and of course, people think that i'm biased. later on, you'll see what's real and what's not.

ok, enough of that. that has been on my mind this whole weekend. and probably will be for the rest of this week. doesn't look like, again, that i can go to austin this weekend. i think it would be better next weekend anyway with everybody there. hopefully alley is flexible.

ATTENTION NCH 3S EMPLOYEES: IF YOU BREAK THE COPY MACHINE, YOU WILL NOT HURT ITS FEELINGS. IT HAS NONE. IT WON'T CRY B/C YOU BROKE ONE OF ITS PARTS. ALL YOU DO IS COST THE COMPANY WASTED TIME AND MONEY. sheesh. people can be so stupid sometimes. >.<

doode, i wish i had spring break. i want to do nothing all day. fun fun for the school kids.

song of the day: new kids on the block - hangin' tough what a cool idea. hopefully, we can get BSB music on "trl" 10 years later. hehe. (^.^)v

Squirted 11:11 AM by E-J Yi